def. (noun) accountable or answerable for your actions
If your kid is going to accomplish anything, they have to take personal responsibility for making it happen. Responsibility is directly tied to success. Responsible people are both proactive in addressing issues and hold themselves accountable for the consequences of their actions. Responsible people are trusted, they are given greater opportunities and they get more done. Responsible people accept blame for mistakes they make. Responsibility is synonymous with adulthood. Your kid needs to be as Responsible as possible to get the best out of life.
What’s a parent to do?
Character Checklist. Is your kid responsible? Here are some of the signs.
□ Rarely needs reminders, coaxing, or reprimands to behave appropriately
□ Accepts appropriate blame
□ Apologizes when they are wrong or have messed up
□ Doesn’t attribute problems to others
□ Acknowledges personal obligations
□ Fulfills personal commitments to others
□ Pulls their own weight in a situation
□ Takes action to solve their own problems
□ Does their fair share
□ Apologizes for mistakes
□ Tries to make amends if physical or emotional injury occurs
□ Doesn’t whine
Model it. Responsibility is a pain. You have to do a lot of stuff you committed yourself to before you realized how much trouble it would be. Your kid will need to have a clear example that Responsibility is important and is a worthwhile way of being as a person. This means, of course, they need to see what a Responsible adult looks like. That would be you. There are a lot of slippery areas when it comes to Responsibility as a parent. Taking “sick time” when you aren’t sick. Divorce. Child support. Keeping promises. Putting aside what you are doing to help your kid. And, the biggest one, admitting you are wrong to your kid. It all comes around to you taking your own Responsibilities seriously.
Another way to present your kid with models of Responsibility is through story telling. Take time to recount stories of family members (including yourself) who have demonstrate Responsibility. There are movies that have responsibility as a theme like Iron Will, It’s a Wonderful Life, Mulan, Kramer vs Kramer, Les Miserables.
Notice it. Look for examples of Responsibility in everyday situations. Comment on it to your kid. Point out people who are working hard. When someone goes above and beyond make sure you say something about it to your kid. Let your kid know how much integrity it takes for people who apologize for mistakes or problems with service.
Expect it. Let your kid know they should be a Responsible person. Make sure they know how to be a responsible person through your expectations. “I expect you to follow through with this because you made a commitment.” “You will need to see this through. That is what a Responsible person does.” “You must be the kind of person who accepts responsibility for their decisions. That means taking what comes if it doesn’t work out the way you expected.” “A Responsible person apologizes and makes it right.”
Express it. Use words and phrases that emphasize the importance of Responsibility: accept responsibility, take charge of your own learning, accept consequences, the buck stops here, own up to your mistakes, admit when you are wrong, pull your own weight, do your fair share, make amends, make it right.
Next: Responsibility cont.
