There are a lot of ways teenagers can learn about healthy romantic relationships. Most media representations are focused on titillation and sexual licentiousness. Romance in movies is mostly characterized by idealization, infatuation, lust and one dimensional people (think Twilight, The Hangover, Iron Man, Spider man and 300). Relationships in music lyrics emphasize hedonism, sexism, the objectification of women (and men) …
Talking About Teenage Love, part 3
Shaping expectations. How you talk about love and relationships will have a significant influence on what your kid expects out of their beloved. Young love-ers are romantic idealists. Their model for love will be fairy tales, cartoons and a naïve, superficial view of dating and dating partners. (We won’t even get into what happens if they have already been watching …
Talking About Teenage Love, part 2
Once you have given some thought to what is meant by love, young love, intimacy, lust and romantic love (see previous column) you are ready (?) to you use that information to help your kid have a better understanding of love in the context of intimate teenage relationships Let’s start with the kinds of strategies for talking to a teen …
Talking About Teenage Love, Part 1
Teenagers don’t have a clue about love. And, unfortunately, the models they have for love in our culture focus mostly on infatuation, romance and sex. For teens to learn how to love fully and realistically, they need to practice being in love. They are going to need help in recognizing it and giving it room to grow. What’s a parent …
Winter Solstice
The darkest day of the year marks the point at which light gradually but inexorably begins to fill more and more of the days that follow. Don’t forget to fill your days (and nights) with peace, love, and joy. Peace [list style=”circle”] Calm Quiet Harmony Contentment Serenity Tranquility Rest [/list] Love [list style=”circle”] Affection Concern Devotion Compassion Care [/list] …
Home As A Trauma Center
Let’s see. I’m on my third visit with the folks at Trinity Church and so far I’ve sweated in terror, laughed a lot and, now, cried. (I had this terrible fear I was channeling Jimmy Swaggart from back in my neck of the woods.) Why cried you wonder? Because I talked of my beloved grandmother; my beloved DEAD grandmother. That’s …
Home as a Safe Place
Mack Strange (with the gracious tolerance of the good folks at Trinity Church in Spring Hill, Tennessee invited me to sit in on their service over the next several weeks as Mack talks about the importance of the home as a place of safety, training, trauma recovery and spiritual growth. My role was to say some things about what parents …