Your kids will be growing to adulthood in a century that, in the area of technology and the rate of change, is unlike anything humans have ever experienced. This is one in a series of columns devoted to identifying core competencies that will help your kid be successful in this 21st century workplace. Previous columns in this series identified these 21st century skills followed by a discussion of the parenting techniques that would be ideally suited for fostering these skills in teens. The focus of this column will be on how parents can help their teens develop better problem solving skills.
Identifying problems. Most of the problems your kid encounters are readily identifiable (despite the tendency to try to ignore them and hope they’ll go away). That doesn’t mean the solutions are obvious; especially if the problem is vague or complex. So teens need help learning how to clearly and specifically identify problems. “OK, but tell me exactly what the problem is.” “I DON’T KNOW!” “Hang on. Let’s try to narrow it down then.”
Finding problems. On the other hand, not all problems have been clearly identified. There is real value in being able to recognize potential problems. Have your kid pause and consider: “Are there any ways you can think this might go badly.” “Do you have any ideas about how we might do this better somehow?” Be very sparing with this otherwise it rolls over into the feeling that you are always criticizing (“Nothing is ever good enough for you Dad!”). Emphasize that it can be helpful sometimes to try to anticipate possible problems rather than just wait for them to jump up and bite you in an awkward place.
Teach the steps to problem solving. Once a problem has been identified, your kid will need to be able to figure out what to do about it. There are a few basic problem solving steps:
- Generate possible solutions, strategies or responses (often through brainstorming or logical analysis)
“What could you do about this?” “What else?” “What else?” “Could something like this work?”
- Select a possible solution.
“Which one do you think would be the best one to try?”
- Identify the steps required to resolve the problem using this solution.
“If you tried that solution, what all would you have to do?”
- Check to make sure the solution is the best one out of the list.
“When you look back over the other solutions do you still think the one you picked is the best one to try?”
- Put the solution into action.
“OK, give it a shot!”
- Adjust actions based on the results of trying the solution.
“Does it seem to be working?” “Do you need to adjust the plan?” “Is this still the right solution to use?”
Asking the right questions. Problem solving is about asking and answering the right questions. “How can I get this to work better?” “What is really going on here?” “Why didn’t this happen the way it was supposed to?” “Why does this always happen to ME?” (These are not the same as Why can’t I” questions. Those are just annoying.) Help them learn how to ask questions (especially the hard questions) that will clarify the problem and point them in the direction of a solution.
Encouraging (thoughtful) guessing. Effective problem solving requires identifying possible solutions. Guessing is one useful way of coming up with solutions. On the other hand, just hollering out whatever comes to your mind as a solution brings little benefit (and it’s annoying). Have your kid take time to mention solutions that come to mind and then analyze their potential usefulness in solving the problem at hand.
Identifying the boundaries. There are natural limits to potential solutions. Sometimes, that is what creates the problem (i.e., limits to resources or options or time). Part of problem solving is working with what you’ve got. “You’ve got $14 to divide between the two of you for lunch. How do you get the most food for your buck.” (Like many situations, this will incorporates multiple 21st century skills; in this instance, imagination, decision making and even leadership along with problem solving.)
Break the mold. Problems with very specific conditions can be like having blinders on; you tend to see the problem from only one perspective. How your kid frames the problem is very important. It may not occur to your kid that they can keep the conditions but change the parameters. Brain teasers (like ones gathered here http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/brain_teasers.htm) are excellent ways to help your kid learn to not let the problem get in the way of coming up with effective solutions.
Point them in the right direction. When kids are just beginning to learn how to problem solve, they are going to get stuck, often pretty quickly. Present them with the problem but be ready to help if they stall out at some point. This does not mean taking it over and finishing it. This means offering some “Have you thought about this?” kind of help.
Thinking it through. Have them think through the implications of a particular solution to practice examining the possible implications and consequences. This is an elaboration of Step 3 above where they go through the mental exercise of imagining a solution step by step before they actually engage in the steps. This can save a lot of time and effort. But don’t dismiss the value of having your kid . . .
Trying it out. Some kids learn better by doing rather than thinking everything through ahead of time. This can be an equally effective way to generate and test solutions. Present some situations that require them to jump in and try out a solution before they even think it through completely.
Weighing alternatives. People, particularly teens, are likely to become infatuated with their own brilliant ideas. It can become a blind spot. Once a possible solution has been identified, it is useful to seriously argue for the other options. Look for ways to get your kid to think through potential problems with their favored solution. Have every family member argue for a different solution. Have your kid argue against their own preferred solution while you defend it.
Give them practical problems to solve. Use what you have at hand to teach your kid about problem solving. There is an odd noise in the car engine. Someone needs to be in two places at once. What’s wrong with the (anything that is broken or has stopped working)? What would you do if you were in that situation (from a movie, the news, character in a book, etc.)? Slip problem solving into the flow of everyday life.
Anticipating common teenage dilemmas. It is very useful to get your kid to think through potential moral or risk taking dilemmas ahead of time. “What are you going to do if people start drinking?” “What are you going to do if she wants to have sex?” “What are the signs that the party is about to get out of control?” “What if someone wants to fight you?” “What if you are challenged to drag race?” “What if he wants to go on a romantic walk when you have homework to do?” It helps if they have already thought through a situation rather than having to problem solve in the moment.
Conflict as a problem. Problems appear in many different guises. One of the most frequent opportunities for problem solving with teenagers involves resolving conflicts (with you, with siblings, with peers, with teachers, with anyone who happens to be walking by). Keep this in mind when conflict arises. Take them through the steps of problem solving as a way of finding a solution.
Make them a consultant. Consider having your kids take a shot at helping you with problems. Talk to them about problems you face. Get their ideas. Go through the problem solving steps while showing them that you (and all adults) use this all the time. (Also, make sure you aren’t defensive or that these aren’t serious, adult problems or intimate personal problems. That would probably be a bit much as a training exercise.)
Family problem solving. Take time to identify family problems and have the family put their heads together to solve it. (Use this sparingly as it can be quite a chaotic process early on.) Make sure there is sufficient time to wrestle with it. Require the full participation of every family member.
Create problems to solve. Require your kid to take an active role in problem solving about something that matters to them. How are they going to find a ride to practice today? How are they going to talk you into buying tickets for the concert (where you let them know it possible if they go about it the right way)? Don’t make them problem solve for every little thing though! You’ll drive them crazy (in a bad way).
Board games. Problem solving skills can also be developed through specific activities like board games. It is not so lecture-y. On family fun night, consider introducing games that require problem solving (e.g., Blokus, Oversight, Mastermind, Ravensburger’s Master Labyrinth, Tangrams). Here and here are a couple of good sites. Take a look at Carcassonne, Cashflow 101 (business problem solving for kids), Gipf (seriously), Risk and Stock Market Tycoon (learning about trading stocks).
Video games. Then, there are those accursed video games! They are actually very effective at developing problem solving. (The question is whether kids will then apply these skills to other areas.) Any video game that is based on a mission to accomplish some goal will fit the bill. Any game that requires the player to figure out how to get past obstacles or to seek out and retrieve desired objects (or powers) will work. Require them to play games that have a strong problem solving element.
Clubs and activities. Finally, there are a number of school based clubs that can develop or refine your kid’s problem solving skills. These include: Academic Decathlon, chess clubs, computer clubs, DECA, Destination Imagination, Future Business Leaders of America, Future Farmers of America, Junior Achievement, math clubs, media clubs, Mock Trial, Model UN, science fairs, Science Olympiad, student government, Technology Student Association, Youth Legislature and even special committees like for prom or homecoming floats.
One theme of these columns on each of the 21st century skills is to look for teachable moments within family life. These suggestions should give you a place to start. If your kid has trouble solving problems, you know you picked a good skill to work on. If they seem to have problem solving down, move on to helping them improve on one of the other skills.
originally published on www.brentwoodhomepage.com
