It’s 2013, do you know how where your kid is (on the world wide web)? Elementary school children are not ready for full and unfettered access to the internet or social media. Their judgment is limited. They are cognitively, social and psychologically naïve. They are susceptible to flawed logic and deception by others. This makes them gullible. They need to be protected from potential harm. They should not be at the mercy of sophisticated marketing campaigns, random people of all ages from around the world and the tastes of bizarre and sometimes disgusting people. That is why you have a lock on the door to your house. That is why you don’t let your kid spend time with little Suzy down the street (or worse, be around her older brother). That is why you won’t allow your kid to be in situations above their developmental level or is beyond their skills and cognitive abilities. Unfortunately, the internet, video games, cell phones, blogs and social media provide just such problems. And, it has arisen since you were young and is constantly evolving. It is a moving target that requires you to make up the rules and assess the risks as you go along.
What’s a parent to do?
There are some basic elements to monitoring these wonderful (and terrifying) technologies. In the previous column, a general outline of different levels of parental monitoring of electronic media was presented. In this column you will find suggestions about applying this system to children in grades 1-4 (ages 6-10). The general rule for social media monitoring during this developmental phase is Adult Presence Only.
Internet. Let’s start with the basics.
Have internet training sessions. This should include going over the rules for using the internet, appropriate sites, privacy and personal information, acceptable language and what they are supposed to do if someone interacts with them in inappropriate ways (e.g., harasses them, tries to get them to provide personal information, discuss things that make them uncomfortable, etc.). Consequences for violating these rules should be draconian. Confiscate all electronic devices (even those that don’t connect to the internet). You need to make the point that you are very serious about how they interact on the internet. And that indulging their curiosity about some things will lose them everything.
Internet access computers are in public spaces. When there was one family computer that was the equivalent of having a television (monitor), a suitcase (cpu) and 2×4 (keyboard) all wired into the wall, this rule was taken for granted. The mobility provided by internet access on a phone (ON A CELL PHONE! Have you stopped to think about this? ON A CELL PHONE!), tablet computers and laptops requires you to make this rule explicit. Check every electronic device your elementary school kid uses. If it can access the internet, they should only use it in the kitchen, living room, family room, etc. No accessing to the internet in private. At all. Ever.
Content filters on all computers. One theme that will continue throughout this discussion of electronic media is that all internet connected device should have content filters on them, including cell phones. As with so many other aspects of our tech society, the list of good filter software programs is continually changing. But there are some, like Net Nanny that have been on the top list since the internet was young.
Here is a recent review of several programs on a site for tech people. Here and here are two examples of programs that allow you to monitor where your kids go on the internet, including on their cell phones. There is no way to reliably filter all inappropriate internet content from coming through to the computer screen. You can only minimize it more or less.
Internet use only in adult presence. Kids this age should never, ever be on any device that has internet access without an adult constantly present. If you can’t be present they can wait until you are available. Despite the fact that you will have minimized the possibility of inappropriate material making its way to your innocence baby (see above), there is no fool proof way to filter out all the content. Filth is only one of the problems. An equally challenging problem is your kid being exposed to content that is appropriate (and even entertaining) for adults but can be upsetting, confusing or damaging to kids this age. Profanity, vulgarity, risqué or sexually suggestive material, grotesquerie, cruelty, horrifying images and information, course humor, encouragement of immorality and all manner of influences you have been trying to protect your kid from encountering can slip right through. Make sure you are right there next to them as the final fire wall.
Next week: Developmental Stages of Access to Social Media: Grades 1-4 Part II
