OK, I’m going out on a limb here. There is a lot being said and written about kids and social media. The problem is that there is precious little specific guidance given on how to decide what is best for kids of different ages. Here is my attempt to wade into the discussion.
This column will propose a system for making decisions about providing kids of different ages with access to the various forms of electronic media available today: video games, internet, cell phones, blogs and social media accounts. The criteria will be based on social and cognitive developmental issues, risk/benefit analysis of potential harm and psychological principles of reinforcement, reward theory and attitude change processes. This series will begin with a general system for establishing levels of parental social media monitoring. This system will then be used to suggest limits on kids at various ages: grades 1-4, grades 5-6, grades 7-8, grades 9-10 and grades 11-12.
Levels of Parental Monitoring
Like any other responsibility, just turning your kid loose with internet connected electronic devices is a recipe for either failure or disaster; both of which you will end up having to clean up after. Your kid’s use of these various forms of social media should progress from greater monitoring and supervision to no monitoring and supervision. Note: all electronic media that can access the internet should have an effective content filter on it until your kid is mature enough to deserve unfettered access to the internet (i.e., 17 years old).
No access. Every kid should go through a phase where they do not have access the internet or certain electronic media because it is simply more than they can handle regardless of what a good kid they are.
Adult presence only. The next level of parental monitoring is to only have access to the device or media when a responsible adult (i.e., parent) is continually, physically present with them while they are using the device or media. This means that if you have to leave the room, access is ended until return.
Extreme monitoring. As your kid demonstrates greater responsible and trustworthiness, they should be able to access electronic devices and media while you are in the immediate area and only while you are in the immediate area. The device should be clearly visible to anyone who passes by and there should be complete transparency for what they are doing (i.e., nothing is hidden, no minimizing screens, etc.).
High monitoring & with cause. As your kid earns greater trust by showing consistently appropriate and responsible use of electronic devices and media during extreme monitoring and in other areas of their life they can be trusted with greater freedom from monitoring while they are using social media. During this high monitoring period, you should be checking on them a couple of times an hour every time they use the device.
Regular monitoring & with cause. Your kid will eventually earn the opportunity to have access to electronic devices and media without constant, frequent monitoring. In this phase, you should be checking on what they are doing every couple of times they use it.
Occasional monitoring & with cause. Through consistently responsible and appropriate use of social media, your kid will earn the right to use their own judgment while using electronic devices or accessing various electronic media. You should monitor them only now and again in a casual way.
Monitoring with cause. Finally, you will only be monitoring your kid’s use of electronic devices or media when there is a specific reason or concern.
This monitoring system will help you slowly walk your kid through the process of internalizing appropriate and responsible use of devices or electronic media. It will make it difficult for them to be exposed to experiences and information that is beyond their ability to process or understand. It will minimize exposure to bad, nasty or problematic images and experiences. They will have to develop their own ideas, images and fantasies rather than being shaped and distorted by the marketers and promoters of empty ideas and desires. They are less likely to be exposed to adult, seductive experiences (both sexual and intellectual) until they have developed the cognitive capacity to reasonably put it in perspective and after they have formed some of their own ideas. But most importantly, it will have allowed them to develop a moral or ethical system through which to filter the information and experiences they are exposed to.
as posted in www.brentwoodhomepage.com
