A motto is a powerful statement of core values. It is a mantra that serves to remind people of their commitment to shared principles. It is a mechanism of accountability; a standard by which actions are measured. While all families have core values, many families don’t make those core values clear and explicit. Creating a family motto can be a useful way to clarify for your kids the core values of your family. It also provides a convenient way to reinforce the values your kids should use as a guide to life.
Step 1: Identify the core values
To create a family motto, it will be important to identify the values and characteristics that will define your family. Make a list of values, qualities and virtues that are important to you. You can do this on your own or make it a family activity (which I would highly recommend). Here is a sample list to get you started.
- Caring
- Charity
- Commitment
- Compassion
- Cooperation
- Courage
- Courtesy
- Diligence
- Empathy
- Encouragement
- Fairness
- Forgiveness
- Fortitude
- Generosity
- Graciousness
- Gratitude
- Helpfulness
- Honesty
- Honor
- Hope
- Humility
- Humor
- Integrity
- Justice
- Kindness
- Loyalty
- Love
- Optimism
- Patience
- Peacemaking
- Persistence
- Politeness
- Prudence
- Respect
- Resourcefulness
- Responsibility
- Self-discipline
- Self-reliance
- Temperance
- Tolerance
- Trustworthiness
Step 2: Pick the three most important values
You can create a motto that is as thorough and extensive as you would like but it helps to have one that is succinct, easily remembered. I suggest you pick out 3 or 4 primary values you consider vital to being a good person. These will help guide you in creating a motto that is right for your family.
Step 3: Create the motto
This is where personal preference, practicality and poetry come into play. There are many ways to express the values your family motto represents.
Tripartite motto. The easiest is to simply string together the 3 more important values you expect members of your family to embody. It has a simplicity and stark clarity that can be really powerful.
- Forgiveness, Integrity and Tolerance
- Faith, Hope, Love
- Integrity, Hope, Generosity
Scriptural motto. Use can also use the three values to guide your selection of a scripture from texts that are part of your faith practices.
- Do unto others as you would have then do unto you
- Love one another
- Not by might and not by power but by my spirit
- Ask not for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders
- Show forgiveness, enjoin kindness, avoid ignorance
Literary motto. Mottos can be drawn from literature, song lyrics and poetry that have personal meaning or simple beauty.
- To thine own self be true
- Keep integrity at every cost
- Eat, pray, love
Conventional wisdom motto. There are endless adages, aphorisms and proverbs that capture fundamental truths and can serve as a family motto.
- Actions speak louder than words
- Do the right thing
- You are never to old to learn
- Two wrongs don’t make a right
You may have already collected some quotes or sayings along the way. Finding potential motto material can be a family activity. Take your time. The search will have many benefits. It forces you to think about what really matters and how that can be best expressed. The search also exposes you (and your kids) to lots of powerful and inspirational words as you search for just the right ones.
Step 4: Say it, display it, live it, repeat it.
Now that you have identified your family motto, use the motto all the time. Frequent repetition is required to insinuate these values into your kid’s subconscious. Make it the last thing said at family meetings. You can just randomly say it when you are walking past your kid. Paint it on the wall of the family room. Have it put on a piece of jewelry for your kids. Write it on a piece of paper and hide it for them to find later. The beauty of this process is that your kid doesn’t even have to repeat it for it to sink in. If you are constantly saying it, they can’t escape it’s influence. You want it to be like a song that gets stuck in their head. The more annoyed they get, the more likely it will worm it’s way in. “DAD! Stop it!” “Nope. Love you kiddo”
Off you go now. Do your best to drive your kid crazy for a
good cause.
