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Fostering Sibling Relationships: Part 3

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Require siblings to be a role model.  As people enter adulthood, they automatically (though not always willingly or positively) move into the position of being an example to others.  That is particularly true for members of a family or community.  Make it clear that all older teens are expected to be a role model to any younger kids.  The youngest …

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Fostering Sibling Relationships: Part 2

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Family activities.  Having a relationship requires interacting with each other.  If your kids don’t get along well or easily, do things as a family (movies, trips, board games, cooking, volunteering, etc.).  Everyone has to interact but there isn’t a spotlight on the kids’ relationships with each other.  Remind them they must be pleasant and act like they are getting along …

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Fostering Sibling Relationships: Part 1

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Oh, the arguing and bickering; the screaming and shoving!  And that’s just what’s required to get everyone to school in the morning.  When you add how brothers and sisters go at each other, the house can become an urban war zone, complete with insurgents and intermittent explosive devices.  For all this, sibling relationships provide the context for your kids to …

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Talking About Teenage Love, part 3

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Shaping expectations.  How you talk about love and relationships will have a significant influence on what your kid expects out of their beloved.  Young love-ers are romantic idealists.  Their model for love will be fairy tales, cartoons and a naïve, superficial view of dating and dating partners.  (We won’t even get into what happens if they have already been watching …

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Talking About Teenage Love, part 2

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Once you have given some thought to what is meant by love, young love, intimacy, lust and romantic love (see previous column) you are ready (?) to you use that information to help your kid have a better understanding of love in the context of intimate teenage relationships Let’s start with the kinds of strategies for talking to a teen …

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Talking About Teenage Love, Part 1

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Teenagers don’t have a clue about love.  And, unfortunately, the models they have for love in our culture focus mostly on infatuation, romance and sex.  For teens to learn how to love fully and realistically, they need to practice being in love.  They are going to need help in recognizing it and giving it room to grow. What’s a parent …

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Fostering Character Development in Teens: Responsibility (cont.)

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Teach it.  Being a Responsible person requires a number of specific skills.  Your kid will need help developing them. Self control.  Responsibility requires the ability to resist impulses and delay gratification in the service of longer term goals.  Your kid will need practice dealing with frustration and remaining calm and focused under stress.  Make your kid wait.  Require them to …

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Fostering Character Development in Teens: Responsibility

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

def. (noun) accountable or answerable for your actions If your kid is going to accomplish anything, they have to take personal responsibility for making it happen.  Responsibility is directly tied to success.  Responsible people are both proactive in addressing issues and hold themselves accountable for the consequences of their actions.  Responsible people are trusted, they are given greater opportunities and …

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Fostering Character Development in Teens: Kindness (cont.)

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

Teach it.  Kindness is a combination of several different qualities you can help your kid develop.  Here are some worth cultivating. Empathy.  Kindness, like other prosocial Character-istics (e.g., Compassion, Generosity),  requires understanding of others feelings; viewing things from their perspective.  It is important to help your kid “walk a mile in their shoes.”  Take the time to talk about how …

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Fostering Character Development in Teens: Kindness

In There's a Stranger in My House by Dr James Wellborn

def. (noun) benevolent, considerate and helpful Kindness, particularly in the form of altruism, does a person good; so much so that it appears to be hard wired into our system.  People who are mean and selfish are likely to be shunned; those who are kind, considerate and helpful are liked and valued.  Acts of kindness reduce stress, increase the release …