Kids begin to be sexually active in significant numbers beginning at 15 (Guttmacher Institute). The average age American adolescents lose their virginity is 17. By 18, 61% of kids have had sex. Where are kids getting information about when, where and how to have sex? Unfortunately, it is from the internet, advertisements, performers, celebutants, pornography and the music they listen …
Sexting Part 5-What to Say If Your Kid Has Been Sexting (continued)
Talk about the risks. Here’s the list. Sending pictures of yourself when you are younger than 18 is distributing pornography. Having a picture of yourself stored on a phone, computer, etc. (or recoverable from the secret, undeleted areas of things you have deleted on your device) is possession of child pornography. Having pictures of your sext buddy who is under …
Sexting Part 2-Setting the Ground Rules
This article is the second in a series on how parents can address the issue of sexting with their teenage children. The first part of this series emphasized the importance of educating yourself as a parent and talking to your kids about sexting as well as internet and social media issues. Set the ground rules. Once you have talked to …
Sexting Part 1-Having the Talk
There is a perfect storm that has arisen around teenagers and sex: the internet, technology, the sexualization of our culture, stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and . . .), the rise of Romance and the ability to be anonymous (or at least avoid direct, face to face contact) when interacting with other people. All this has conspired to …
More Questions (for your teenager) from Steubenville, Ohio
The previous column presented questions to generate a conversation between you and your teenager about issues raised by the rape of a teenage girl in Steubenville, Ohio. The questions continue. Responsibility Whose fault is it when someone is attacked? What if they were saying really insulting things to the person who attacked them? What if they were walking around in …
Questions (for your teenager) from Steubenville, Ohio
“Many of the things we learned during this trial that our children were saying and doing were profane, were ugly . . .[Parents need] to have discussions about how you talk to your friends, how you record things on the social media so prevalent today and how you conduct yourself when drinking is put upon you by your friends.” Judge …
Talking About Teenage Love, part 3
Shaping expectations. How you talk about love and relationships will have a significant influence on what your kid expects out of their beloved. Young love-ers are romantic idealists. Their model for love will be fairy tales, cartoons and a naïve, superficial view of dating and dating partners. (We won’t even get into what happens if they have already been watching …
Talking About Teenage Love, part 2
Once you have given some thought to what is meant by love, young love, intimacy, lust and romantic love (see previous column) you are ready (?) to you use that information to help your kid have a better understanding of love in the context of intimate teenage relationships Let’s start with the kinds of strategies for talking to a teen …
Talking About Teenage Love, Part 1
Teenagers don’t have a clue about love. And, unfortunately, the models they have for love in our culture focus mostly on infatuation, romance and sex. For teens to learn how to love fully and realistically, they need to practice being in love. They are going to need help in recognizing it and giving it room to grow. What’s a parent …
Teen Pregnancy Rates, Sexual Decision Making and Intimate Relationships
I’ve been interviewed recently about changes in teen pregnancy rates across the last decade. In a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control, the rate of teenage pregnancies has declined by 40% from what they were in 1995. This is one of the many indications of how well teenagers are doing these days. * You’d think that with all …
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