There are lots of different things you can do as a family. One activity that can be fun while benefiting your kids is cooking together as a family. It can be a risk to put all the family together in small space, light fires and give them knives but the benefits (in most cases) will outweigh the risks. Cooking together is an opportunity for your kids learn more about leading and following. It provides a focused activity that nonetheless promotes camaraderie and cooperation as well as frustration tolerance and compromise. But the main goal is to be together and have fun. Don’t make it a chore.
Make it an event. Make sure everyone sets aside time for shopping, cooking and eating. For middle to older teens this will mean coordinating with their schedule since they usually are making their own plans. This is a time for family bonding (though it works fine for your kids to include friends). This is a togetherness activity; everything is in the service of building relationships and having a good time. If the meal is good, even better.
Plan the meal. Part of the fun will be in deciding what to eat. Everyone needs to be in on the decision. If there are irreconcilable differences then trade off; one picks this meal another picks the next meal; one picks one of the dishes the other picks the other dish. Old family recipes are perfect for this activity. It brings a deeper meaning to the experience. It is also worthwhile to find a recipe that becomes YOUR family tradition.
Electronics free zone. No TV, computer, cell phones or electronic devices. You can play music. This is a time to be together as a family not a time to be distracted by the miracles of modern technology.
Select straightforward recipes. Make sure the recipe isn’t too complicated. (Save the Cordon Bleu French chef dishes for another meal). It helps if the recipe requires some prep work for multiple ingredients like chopping, cutting or cooking separately. Mushing things together in a big bowl is a big plus. Assembly line dishes are even better.
Shop for the ingredients. Give the kids a list and send them to the store to get the ingredients. Go together and have each family member gather a different ingredient and meet at the checkout lane.
Have appetizers. Lots of people cooking together really slows down the process. Being around food will make everyone hungry. Make sure you have appetizers to snack on while getting the meal prepared. Nuts, antipasti, cheeses; sampler size food that doesn’t ruin their appetite while taking the edge off hunger.
Divide up the tasks. Everyone needs to have a responsibility. There are many components: multiple ingredients in the main dish, preparing side dishes, desert, drinks and setting the table. Make sure everyone has a responsibility that keeps them in the thick of things. No one goes to another room even if their part is done.
Put someone in charge. Assign a leader; preferably someone who usually doesn’t get to lead (like a younger sibling). They make the list, they oversee the production, they boss people around (with as much guidance as they need). This is a great chance to help your kid learn about real leadership (and how bad leadership can incite rebellion in the ranks). Make sure they know about the importance of encouraging their minions. “Good job.” “That looks really good.”
Don’t worry about the actual meal. If it tastes great, great! If not, toss it and order pizza. That can be as memorable an experience as a well prepared meal (and it makes a better story).
Everyone cleans up. Rather than assigning the cleanup to one person, have everyone pitch in. You might even consider washing by hand. (OK, maybe that is going too far.) There is something about everyone having to pitch in after the meal to clean and put everything away that brings home the point you are all in this together. And you shouldn’t expect people to wait on you.
Make it a tradition. You might not be able to do this every week. But you could do it every month. You could definitely do it every holiday or school break. Start a tradition of the family coming together not just to eat but to prepare food. Help your kids learn that pitching in is the right thing to do. And it can be fun.
